|Q1: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong
life. Is this true?
A1: Your heart is only good for
so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on
exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your
heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer?
Take a nap.
Q2: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and
A2: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a
cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a
steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering
vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also
a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork
chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of
Q3: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A3: Not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is
distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity
bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also
made out of vegetables. Bottoms up!
Q4: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A4: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat,
your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is
two to one, etc.
Q5: What are some of the advantages of participating in a
regular exercise program?
A5: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy
is: No Pain...Good
Q6: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A6: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days
in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could
getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q7: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little
soft around the middle?
A7: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets
bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger
Q8: Is chocolate bad for me?
A8: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another
vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q9: Is swimming good for your figure?
A9: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales
Q10: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A10: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you
may have had about food and diets.